His leadership has left you disappointed? Submit to him anyway…

So he’s not “leading” huh?

…submit to him anyway.

He’s not praying over your children the way you desire him to?

…stand in the gap and pray over them anyway.

You don’t agree with the decision he made for your family?

…respect it anyway.

He’s not praying for you, the way you desire to be covered and prayed for?

…go before the throne boldly, and pray for him anyway.

He’s not pursuing God or reading His Word the way you’d hope to see?

…pursue the Lord with zest and a hungry fire anyway.

Sometimes your husband may not be “leading” the way you’d like him to. But that’s OK- it’s not our job to “fix” that or condemn him. It is your job to help him- be his help mate.

Pray for him. Stand in the gap for your family, and initiate family worship time and time in the Word. You are one with your husband. God will hear your prayers and intercession on his behalf, as you stand in the gap.

Even if you feel like you are the “stronger one spiritually”- your true strength will show through when you choose to humbly help him.

Sometimes being a helpmate looks like being gentle in your response to him, when your flesh wants you to yell and shake him out of his passivity. Sometimes it looks like thanking him for his hard work then offering to pray for him even when your flesh wants to be upset that he doesn’t initiate praying with you. Sometimes it looks like encouraging him by sending him a thoughtful text like “I am so grateful you are the head of our household…” even if you think he is not standing in the rightful authority that the head should- speak life to your husband anyway.

Be his helpmate, serve him graciously, speak gently…even if you don’t think he deserves it. You don’t do these things because he is worthy of it. You do these things because HE- the Lord, is worthy. And as you honor your husband, you also honor HIM.

Are you building up your husband with prayer and encouragement? Or tearing him down with nagging and complaints?

*of course the obvious caveat to this is that he is not leading you into sin.

Proverbs 14:1

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.